TL;DR
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Sixty and Me published a personal essay arguing that six common words or phrases—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—can reinforce unhelpful habits or strain communication. The piece offers alternative wording, but it is advice based on the author’s experience, not a reported study or universal rule.
Sixty and Me has published a personal essay recommending that readers rethink six familiar words and phrases—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—because, the author argues, they can affect motivation, self-talk and relationships. The article presents the advice through personal stories and suggested alternatives; it does not report new research establishing that the phrases have the same effect on everyone.
The author says a long-running morning call with a coaching partner helped both of them identify what the essay calls limiting beliefs and practice affirming statements. They spoke most mornings for seven years, the writer says, and each saw progress in personal and professional life. The account is anecdotal and does not describe a measured outcome or controlled comparison.
The essay uses the writer’s son Joel as an example when discussing “I’ll try.” It recounts that he lost 35 pounds over six months after the family began taking daily walks and had fewer opportunities to buy fast food and soda. The writer says he maintained those practices and felt better, slept better and had more energy. The essay links this experience to the phrase “I’ll try,” but does not establish that changing those words caused the weight loss or health changes.
For the other phrases, the author suggests that replacing “can’t” with a more specific account of a choice can make self-talk more honest; that “always” and “never” can turn individual frustrations into sweeping accusations; and that “if only” can keep attention on regrets. The essay calls “but” a “verbal eraser,” offering “and” as a way to acknowledge a difficulty without cancelling an expression of affection or appreciation.
How Everyday Phrases Shape Conversations
The essay focuses on language readers use both in their own thoughts and with other people. Its examples point to a practical distinction: a broad statement such as “you always” can sound like a fixed judgment, while describing a specific event leaves more room to discuss what happened. Likewise, replacing “I can’t” with a clear account of a constraint or choice may help a speaker describe a situation more precisely.
These suggestions are best understood as communication advice, not as rules that certain words must never be spoken. “I’ll try” can honestly convey uncertainty, and “but” can be useful in ordinary conversation. The value of the piece lies in encouraging readers to notice habitual phrasing and consider whether a different wording better reflects what they mean.
The distinction matters because the advice could otherwise be read as blame: a person’s circumstances do not necessarily change because they choose a more confident phrase. The essay itself offers personal examples, rather than evidence that wording alone determines success, health or relationships.
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The Essay’s Personal Examples
The article opens with a story about a friend whose fiancé removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance. The writer says the couple remained married more than 40 years later. That story frames the broader theme that words can carry emotional weight, but it is not presented as evidence that avoiding a particular word ensures a lasting relationship.
The author also says they stopped using swear words routinely, partly to be more creative and partly because children tend to repeat what they hear. From there, the essay turns to six phrases the writer considers unhelpful. It proposes alternatives, including changing “if only” to “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity,” and changing “This one is a handful but I love him” to “This one is a handful and I love him to pieces.”
The source is a first-person advice article from Sixty and Me. It does not cite research, identify an outside expert, or present the suggestions as clinical or professional guidance.
““Words have power.””
— Sixty and Me essay author
What the Advice Does Not Establish
The source does not provide research or expert assessment showing that avoiding these words improves health, motivation or relationships. It also does not define how often the phrases must be used, or account for situations in which they accurately express uncertainty, limits or contrast.
The account of Joel’s weight loss describes several changes made during the same period, including daily walks and reduced access to certain foods and drinks. The article does not isolate the effect of any one change, and it does not show that his language about trying caused the outcome. The writer’s reported improvements are personal observations, not independently verified measurements.
The essay’s title says “6 Words,” while some entries are phrases and the list includes both “always” and “never.” The piece does not claim that the words are forbidden; its closing invitation is to identify habitual language a reader might want to change.
A Reader’s Own Word Audit
The essay offers no announced follow-up study or reporting milestone. Its suggested next step is personal: notice recurring phrases in conversation and private self-talk, then decide whether a more specific or constructive alternative fits the situation. Readers can test the wording without treating it as a guarantee of a particular outcome.
For example, someone might replace “I can’t take a walk” with a clearer explanation of what prevented it that day, or replace “you always leave dishes out” with a description of the specific incident. The writer’s broader point is to choose language deliberately. Whether a change helps will depend on the circumstances and the person using it.
Key Questions
Which six words or phrases does the essay recommend rethinking?
The essay discusses “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” Although its title refers to six words, several entries are phrases, and “always” and “never” are treated together.
Does the article say these words should never be used?
No. It is a personal advice essay about noticing habitual language and considering alternatives. It does not establish a universal ban, and some of the words may accurately describe a person’s meaning or circumstances.
Does the essay prove that changing language improves health or success?
No. The article provides personal stories, not a study or controlled evidence. Its account of Joel’s weight loss describes changes to daily activity and food access alongside the family’s conversations, so it does not show that wording caused the outcome.
What alternative does the author suggest for “if only”?
The writer proposes saying, “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity.” The suggested wording is intended to focus on responding to current circumstances rather than dwelling on an imagined alternative.
Source: sixtyandme.com
